The Introspective Warrior

When I first began this website, without hesitation, I felt led to call it “The Introspective Warrior”. I did not think on it hard or long. It just felt right. I briefly associated it with the battles one encounters as being part of the army of the Lord. Another light association for the title would have been about battling our way through hardship in our Christian walk.

However, now I think the Lord has revealed the deeper meaning for the title of the site. It is true that we do battle with the principalities of the air. It is true that we must fight as soldiers for Christ to lead a lost and dying world to know the Savior. It is also true that we each have our own battles and demons to overcome in our lives. But I want to ask, what drives us in this fight?

History has recorded numerous times of the persecution and torture of Gods people. We know that in the Roman period, Christians were killed in the arenas for sport and entertainment because of their faith. We know that during the medieval period that certain segments of the Christian faith were persecuted and martyred for defying the Roman Catholic Church. The Nazi’s tried to destroy the Jews and completely exterminate them. We also find that in the early 1900’s how the Mexican population was denied the ability to worship. Their churches were closed and Christians were executed leading to a war that lasted for years. Missionaries throughout the world have become martyrs for the cause of Christ. God’ s people when accepting the cross seem to also accept a target on their head.

In my mind I have envisioned warriors from the beginning until present day. I tried to imagine what it takes to make a person able to become a true warrior. I determined that the person must first make a decision of commitment. He has to be willing to make a choice that he will stand for some ideal. Then this person must be trained for battle and the art of warfare. Whether it is swords or tanks the warrior must be strong, skilled , alert and prepared.

Our bible tells us how to obtain our armor and to prepare ourselves for spiritual battle. A warrior must be able to take orders and follow the direction of their commander. We must also be listening for Gods direction in our lives. But no matter how well trained, no matter how skilled, and no matter how the commander leads, the warrior is only as good as his belief in the cause.

When our country was discovered by Christopher Columbus, it is recorded that a cross was erected immediately upon the shore. We know that the primary objective of the pilgrims in establishing our country was to obtain religious freedom. The freedom to worship God in whatever manner the individual wanted. We fought a war for that freedom. So what gives people the strength, conviction and courage to endure in the hardest of times?

I know that every soldier who has experienced battle and loss has had to ask himself why he does this thing? Why would he give his last ounce of blood and all of his heart in a cause that may require his ultimate sacrifice? The answer is love.

The answer is love of those he fights for. Duty and honor are not enough to encourage people to that level of sacrifice. It is love. Only love led Christ to a cross to die for us. Love moved God to send his only son to become man’s salvation. Only love has given masses of people the strength and conviction to fight for their right to worship. Only love of God, Country, Family and Freedom will cause an exhausted wounded warrior to step up to battle one more time.

We cannot be effective warriors, if we do not look inside ourselves. We must examine with truth what is in our hearts. To be an effective warrior for Christ, we must first really love Him. If we love Him, we can then love others. Then we have a reason to fight. We have a reason to be strong. We have a reason to put on the whole armor of God.
　

The Keys

We as believers must strive to continually walk in faith. If we truly walk in faith,  we can trust that He who can do all things, knows the solution to our problems. Our problems may be our childrens lives and choices, finances, marriages or health.  But knowing that He who has been faithful since the beginning of creation ,holds me in his hands, reassures me of the outcome. Our God will surely honor faith and prayer. He has done so from the beginning of time and is incapable of change.

In times of  hardship we have two choices. We can choose to fall prey  by giving our focus over to our circumstances and allowing the quicksand of despair to ultimately destroy our lives. The second choice is to use the keys of faith and prayer. If our focus is absorbed by our faith and prayers, we find that the strength of our faith increases. As our faith grows stronger, the effectiveness of our prayers also increases exponentially.

Faith and prayer are the keys given to us to unlock our potential. These are the keys  that open doors to provide our route of escape. These are also the keys that allow you to move mountains and calm the stormy seas of your life. And most important, these are the keys that open the door to a closer, more intimate relationship with our Lord.

Fear does not create change.  God moves instead on faith and prayer. These are the two most powerful forces in all of creation. Faith, we are told is the substance of things hoped for but not seen.  The bible tells us that the continued fervent prayer of a righteous man availath much.  Therefore let us as children of the Most High God, use the keys which He has provided for us to change not only our problems and our circumstances. Remember we have the keys to change our lives, our country, and the world.

Before Lazarus Died

     The bible tells us that when Lazarus was sick Mary and Martha sent for Jesus who was in a nearby town approximately 2 miles away. The bible doesn't tell us how long it was before Lazarus died that word was sent to Jesus. It only states that Lazarus had been dead four days by the time Jesus arrived. Tonight I lay thinking about Mary and Martha and how that situation applies to our everyday life. I feel sure they did not wait until Lazarus was taking his last breath before sending for Jesus

     So here was Mary and Martha, the beloved of Jesus. They know first hand of his power, his love and who He was. They had walked many miles with him and seen many miracles. They had seen lepers healed,  the lame walk, and the possessed become free. So surely healing Lazarus would be no great feat for Jesus.

     I, in my Christian life have tried and many times been close to the Lord in my day to day walk. I have seen through spiritual eyes, miracles and deliverance around me. Throughout our  lifes journey we all find ourselves at various degrees of closeness in our walk with the Lord.  It seems like circumstances have a way of imposing situations that place distance between us and where we want to be spiritually.

     I am sure that Mary and Martha would have preferred to be walking in close proximity to their Lord  with their healthy brother beside them. Instead they were needed to care for their ailing Lazarus.  As anyone would, I feel sure that upon hearing of the illness they became caretakers with hopes for a recovery.

     When I compare the situation to our everyday life I see many parallels. We think we are strong in our faith walking a spiritual path when something happens in our lives. It can be anything; health, money, children, marital problems, anything at all. when the problem first comes, we are not dismayed. We automatically think Jesus will solve the problem through our prayers.

     I can see Mary and Martha day in and day out getting more and more tired yet being faithful to their brother. They never waiver in their faith because they KNOW that Jesus can heal Lazarus. So they try to wait patiently for the Lord to arrive and make everything alright. Day after day they watch their brother suffer while his health declines and fades.  Nothing they do helps. In their minds they had to question "Where is He? Why doesn't He come?"

     How many times have we asked "How long Lord?  Why don't you answer my prayer? Why does this situation endure on when I am praying and trusting you for an answer?"

     Time means nothing to God. "A day is as a thousand years and a thousand years is as a day". So that tells me that however long it was, days, months or years, that Mary and Martha waited is no different than the time we endure our problems. They felt separated from the Lord and unable to reach him in their time of need. How many times have we felt that way knowing that He could solve everything, but he doesn't seem to come.

    Time passed and their situation grew more dire by the day while they watched helplessly. Finally the worst happens. Lazarus dies.

     We, as flesh, war within ourselves. While the spirit tries to hold on, the mind and heart battle with disappointment, pain , grief, and confusion. They had to have all of these emotions.  I can imagine the emptiness they felt for the four days after his death. They knew beyond a doubt that the death and suffering of Lazarus could have been avoided. They had to feel let down. Hours grew into days. One day led to another. Jesus had not come.  When they needed him most, He was not there.

     When He finally made the short journey, the two sisters responded very differently. No where is it indicated that their love for Jesus was diminished. This encourages me because I know I always love the Lord although I may be confused or maybe even discouraged at times. So knowing they had to have the same feelings makes me feel like less of a failure.

     I said the two sisters handled the return of Jesus differently. It is strange that it would be Martha, "the complainer" who would rush to meet Jesus. She addresses him by say "If you had come my brother would still be alive." This statement is accusing. It says "If you had done what I asked, my brother would be alive and well. We would not have gone through all this hardship and grief." Don't we sometimes want to tell God  that He is not doing His part?  Even if we don't have the nerve to say it, don't you honestly feel it? "My suffering could have been avoided".

     Martha had to either be very brave or very disappointed to say this to the one she KNEW to be the Son of God. But she offers Him a way to redeem himself and at the same time try to reaffirm her own faith.
She states, " I know God will bring him back to life if you only ask it."  She could not deny even in her grief and disappointment who He was. She knew He was still the only hope.
  
     Mary on the other hand stayed at home when she heard Jesus was coming. This is the same Mary that sat at the feet of Jesus hanging on his every word. She washed his feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. One so consumed with love for Jesus did not go out to greet him. I would have actually expected the opposite behavior of the two women. Mary had fallen into her grief and didn't expect anything more from Jesus. She loved Him, but why ask anything if He is not there when you need Him most? She had to be devastated.

     However Jesus was moved and told Martha "Your brother will live again" and sent her to bring Mary. Isn't it comforting to know that when we feel so lost and inconsolable, that Jesus is able to send the right person to remind us of who He is? When He does, we have only to obey His calling and be drawn to Him.

     Yes, we know Jesus brought Lazarus back to life. The bible says he wept at their sorrow. He loves us so much that it tears at His heart when we suffer. He knew their suffering, their doubts and their struggle to remain faithful.  It was not in their time. It was not how they wanted things to happen. But God did answer their prayers.

     I see two things in the resurrection of Lazarus not discussed. Had he been healed it would not have carried the same significance with the believers. Jesus healed many people in his ministry. It would have been considered miraculous but a more common act for Jesus. Life would have carried on with little difference.  But instead, think how much more precious was the gift of life, love and  family to Mary, Martha, and Lazarus after actually experiencing death.

     It also showed that Jesus will ALWAYS come. He knows everything that is going on in our lives every minute of every day. He may or may not come in the time frame of our choosing. But He cares enough to always come and he promises that He can always make good come from any situation. Even with Lazarus he has proven HE WILL NEVER FAIL US.

 

Nemesis

Anger and resentment can become a paralizing nemisis in your life. To an outsider, everything can look fine, as though no problems exists. But like some sci-fi movie, in a parrallel dimension, unseen by the naked eye, you are doing battle with Anger himself.

When unresolved anger exists, you become subconciously  and spiritually locked in mortal combat, fighting for your very survival. You can find yourself battling to supress and control this emotion with a literal death grip around Anger's throat.  You may think you have control of the situation  however you dont have the strength or grip that can destroy this enemy. You can only hold him at arms length to not be overcome by him. You know that you cant let go, because to do so means that he can overcome you and destroy your world completely.

And the battle rages on........

Day after day, year after year until you no longer even know where the Anger came from .  He is simply there absorbing your energy and going no where. The truth is he could not leave if he wanted to because of your grip trying to hold him in control. In the physical world, your muscles ache, you're exhausted for seemingly no reason. Simple joys in life loose their luster and simple tasks become overwhelming.

Over time you find yourself more and more isolated and unable to relate to others. Your family and friends become distanced because your ongoing struggle colors your perception of them as well. It's like looking through a pair of muddy goggles in a battlefied. It becomes hard to distinguish who is the enemy and who is the ally.

It is said that"nothing stays the same" and "this too will pass" However this is not true in our parrallel universe.  A person becomes like the rich man in purgatory seeing the other side but unable to reach it or gain a moments relief from torment. The world may change all around us presenting temporary distractions. But the fear of being overcome by our nemesis keeps our grip locked tight. So nothing ever really changes and it never passes. How could hell be any worse?

I tell myself "Focus on the blessings".  But the dirty goggles again make blessings hard to see even though you know they are there. It is kind of hard to stop and smell the roses in the middle of a battlefield.

One thing I know for sure, is that although I have at times had a grip on Anger with one hand, my other hand is gripped on my faith in Jesus. While Anger or Resentment may try to make you give up, I personally could never, ever, give up on Jesus and my God. He promises that no matter what He will never give up on me. He told me He would never leave me nor forsake me. So He is even able to reach me in this parrallel universe.

Many of us are not  able to break free of this spirit of Anger on our own. All of our strength has been used up holding the enemy at bay. We have had our grip in place so long that we are locked in position.  The only hope is to recognize your enemy and ask Jesus to break the hold.

He has shown me that he can reach out and gently open that tighlty gripped fist. He and His power can overpower and banish the spirit of Anger once we are released. Although this kind of life is it's own form of hell, I am reminded that Jesus has been to hell before. He broke the shackles there and can do it again for any of us that need it. He just has to be asked and then allowed to do it.

It doesnt mean that the sneaky sci-fi nemesis wont try to pop up for a sequel. But after Jesus opens the hand trying to control your anger, he can use the same one to pull you out of the hell.

The Thief

Luke 23:43

" I will tell you the truth, this day you will be with me in paradise"

Out of all the scriptures, these may be the most beautiful and most powerful for me.

     A convicted, confessed thief who did not know Christ and who had definitely not tried to live a holy life was told these words. This act and these words have been on my mind for the past few days. I constantly battle with the feeling that I am a failure as a Christian; that I am not doing all that I should. While I dont question that Jesus died for me and that I am saved, I still feel like a disappointment to Him.

I have beent trying to find perspective on how He could continue to love me with a life time of stumbling, failing, and disobedience. For many years I focused on the scripture saying "Be ye perfect even as your Father in heaven is perfect".    Yeah----------that didnt work out too good. So what good am I to Him?

Then He has reminded me of this thief.

This thief who admitted his guilt, had never made an effort to walk with Christ. This thief did not cry out for absolution of his wrong doings. He didnt ask to be saved spiritually or physically.  While salvation is based upon repentence, the scripture does not even reflect that this thief openly repented. He never once said "forgive me".

Instead he says "Remember me when you come into your kingdom".  Maybe something has been lost in translation over the generations. Because to me this equals "Please think kindly of me after I am gone". He knew he was not worthy of anything more than the punishment he was recieving and only asked to be remembered. But he recognized WHO Jesus was and acknowled him as the "Son of God".  I feel that way many times. I want to ask Jesus to just remember that I wasnt all bad.

But Jesus did more than that.

"This day you will be with me in paradise"

If Jesus would make this promise and accept someone who had never made an effort to live for Him, how much more so will he accept His children. Regardless of how we feel about ourselves, he recognizes the heart that acknowledges Him. He recognizes the heart that yearns to bless Him.

All the thief did was acknowlege Him for who he was. So whenever I feel dirty, bruised, failed or useless, I will remember those words. For while I am no more worthy than the thief, I am no less accepted.